Ways to Make a Quarantine Mother’s Day Special

The list for May 10, 2020
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
It’s hard to celebrate Mother’s Day with your
mom when you can’t even visit her, right?

WRONG! Let HumorLabs show you how it’s done!

The Top 13 Ways to Make
a Quarantine Mother’s Day Special

  1. Stick some flowers from her garden through her mail slot.

  2. Have her grandchildren sing her a special Mother’s Day song via Zoom. She won’t be able to figure out how to turn on the sound, but she’ll appreciate the sentiment.

  3. Send her a nice bouquet of thermometers and throat swabs.

  4. Show her how to find Dr. Fauci’s Tinder profile.

  5. Since the beauty parlors are closed, make her a special appointment with your dog groomer.

  6. Send her a "World’s Most Essential Mom" mug.

  7. Drop off a camping stove and all the ingredients for making an elaborate breakfast in bed.

  8. Arrange for a Blue Angels flyover.

  9. Call the cops on her so she’ll have some personal contact with first responders.

  10. Have the kids read "A Child’s Guide to the Kama Sutra" to her over Skype.

  11. Tell her you’ll arrange for her to get off that cruise ship once she learns how to fold a bath towel into an elephant.

  12. A picture of an actual childbirth as your Zoom background lends a touch of nostalgia.
And the Number 1 Way to Make a Quarantine Mother’s Day Special…

  1. Wearing camo riot gear and openly carrying an assault weapon, stand on her front porch demanding she end her lockdown so you can give her the face mask you made out of macaroni and string.
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CREDITS
Selected from 83 submissions from 31 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT — 1 (26th #1)
  • Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 1 (12th #1)
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Brooklyn, NY — 2
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA — 2
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 2
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 3, 9
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 4
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 5
  • Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA — 6
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 7
  • Richie Ruben, Hackensack, NJ — 7
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 8
  • Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 10
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 11
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 12
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 13
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List moderator
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