Thoughts of a Petri-Dish Brain

The list for October 7, 2013
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Researchers are now growing mini-brains from
stem cells. These “cerebral organoids” are pea-
sized structures that help researchers explore
important questions about brain development.
As opposed to the pea-sized brains in Congress.
The Top 15 Thoughts of a Petri-Dish Brain

  1. "No arms or legs? Damn, I sure hope there are no zombies working here."

  2. "I can only think in 140 characters!"

  3. "Well, whoever gets me is better off than whoever gets the microphallus growing in that bottlecap next door."

  4. "Ooh, a working brain. I definitely won’t end up in Congress."

  5. "Hold all calls from the Scarecrow."

  6. "I sure hope someone’s Igor enough to take the next step here."

  7. "All right, now let’s grow me a schlong so I can think with *that*." (male mini-brains only)

  8. "So cold. Want hat."

  9. "You there, lab coat lady! If I said you had a sexy neural stimulator, would you hold it against me?"

  10. "Thanks a lot, Obamacare."

  11. "Okay, let’s greenlight ‘The Lone Ranger 2: Tonto’s Story.’"

  12. "What time is ‘Duck Dynasty’ on?"

  13. "Man, that Carlos Mencia is one funny guy!"

  14. "You’re fired! You’re fired! You’re fired! You’re fir—- Jesus, what is WRONG with me?"
And the Number 1 Thought of a Petri-Dish Brain…

  1. "Ohmigod! The lab assistant just threw Frank in the garbage! Wait —- false alarm, that was just bubble gum."
.
CREDITS
Selected from 86 submissions from 31 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Stephanie Landes, Findlay, OH — 1, 3 (18th #1)
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada — 2
  • Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 4
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 5, 6, 8 (Hat trick!)
  • John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN — 7, 9, 11 (Hat trick!)
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 9
  • Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 10
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 12
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 12
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 13
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 14
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ — 15
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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