Things We No Longer Say

The list for July 17, 2013

The Top 20 Things We No Longer Say

"Let’s spend a relaxing, low-key weekend at the Jersey shore."
"It’s a GREAT investment —- real estate always goes up!"
"I’m all giddy in anticipation for the Sears Christmas Catalog!"
"Would somebody please answer the damn phone?
"Mission accomplished!"
"I can’t wait for that new M. Night Shyamalan movie."
"How come we’ve never seen any pictures of your cousin’s stepsister’s friend’s baby?"
"Oh, boy! TV dinners tonight!"
"Famous people are boring —- why don’t they do a show about talentless losers like me?"
"No dessert for me."
"It took me three days, but I might have just made the most rad mix tape EVER!"
"Man, that Kathleen Turner is SMOKING hot!"
"You can’t go wrong with a Patriots tight end on your fantasy team."
"I wonder what that actress looks like naked."
"Work just paged me. Where’s the nearest pay phone?"
"A vampire movie? Nah, girls hate that stuff. Take her to a chick flick."
"Man, I wish there were some way the entire world could see how incredibly *fabulous* I look in my underwear in this bathroom mirror reflection!"
"Congress isn’t that stupid."
"How many am I allowed? Three? Okay, in that case, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, and OJ Simpson."

And the Number 1 Thing We No Longer Say…

"Could you imagine if *Grandma* had nipple piercings and a huge dragon tattoo on her back?"

CREDITS

Selected from 99 submissions from 36 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5071713.shtml