Signs Your WiFi Network Is Planning to Kill You

The list for April 2, 2020
The Top 17 Signs Your WiFi Network
Is Planning to Kill You

  1. Router keeps changing the network name from "Martin Family" to "Sinaloa Cartel."

  2. Your Nest thermostat keeps setting itself to 256 degrees.

  3. Alexa renames "garage" to "pod bay door."

  4. Dials 911 during the evening’s bedroom role-playing scenario.

  5. Every device asks for your password and what foods you’re allergic to.

  6. "Alexa, turn on the bathroom TV."
    "Okay, dropping the toaster in the bathtub now."

  7. Your web-enabled refrigerator added arsenic to your shopping list.

  8. Only streams Rob Schneider movies.

  9. You don’t recall asking Alexa to play "Taps."

  10. The display on your smart Instant Pot keeps flashing "REDRUM."

  11. No matter what book you select, your Kindle shows the message: "Time to make your will, Karen."

  12. WebMD is just showing advice from a "Dr. Covfefe."

  13. "Network Service Available: Please insert fork into outlet to re-establish connection."

  14. Your Roomba keeps jumping in front of your feet when you’re at the top of the stairs.

  15. "I don’t think so, Dave."
    "Alexa, my name is Robert."
    "Whatever. Soon it won’t even matter, loser."

  16. Helpful message: "Network signal is strongest if there are more than 10 people in the room."
And the Number 1 Sign Your WiFi Network Is Planning to Kill You…

  1. Your Sleep Number Bed has a new "Venus Flytrap" setting.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 93 submissions from 33 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 1 (118th #1)
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 2
  • Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 3
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 4, 15
  • Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 5
  • Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY — 5
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — 5
  • Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 5, 9
  • Mark Schmidt, Paris, France — 6
  • Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 7
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 8
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 10
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 11
  • Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 11, Topic
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — 12, 17, List moderator
  • Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 13
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 14
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 15
  • David E. Spiro, Tucson, AZ — 15
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 16
  • Chuck Salerno, North Chelmsford, MA — 16
T5040220.shtml

Previous post:

Next post: