The list for March 31, 2020
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Everyone having fun in that home office?
The Top 15 Signs Working From
Home Isn’t Going So Well
Home Isn’t Going So Well
- Uber has been very sympathetic, but passengers are complaining about the clothesline and empty takeout boxes.
- Nobody but yourself to blame for the filthy microwave now.
- Those long, clandestine games of "Angry Birds" just don’t have the same captivation while sitting on your *own* toilet.
- Your new IT guy is an 11-year-old, yet still knows way more than you do.
- Falling behind on work because of your commitment to providing internet comedy.
- Take Your Daughter to Work Day keeps getting in the way of your johns.
- You get no thanks despite working 24/7 to rapidly ramp up production of ventilators in Minecraft.
- Even Don Draper couldn’t make your "Pabst in a Yeti" day drinking look cool.
- Got into an argument at the water cooler with your Roomba.
- You finally got the damn pole anchored to the ceiling, but nobody’s sticking singles in your G-string.
- Happy hour is now 5 a.m. to 10 p.m.
- Online departmental meetings keep getting interrupted by the kids, now that they’ve figured out how to get out of the handcuffs.
- Productivity is down, but on the plus side, you’ve finished watching YouTube. All of it.
- Fido in Accounting just blew your entire stimulus check on Snausages.
And the Number 1 Sign Working From Home Isn’t Going So Well…
- WiFi connection always seems to go down just when you’re closing the left ventricle incision.
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CREDITS
Selected from 115 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1 (138th #1)
- Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 2
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT — 3
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 4
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 5
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 5
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 6
- Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY — 7, 11
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 8
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong — 9
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 10
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 12
- Tim H. Richweis, Wichita, KS — 12
- Kevin Freels, Moraga, CA — 13
- Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 14
- Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 15
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — Topic
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List moderator, Banner Tag
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