The list for June 27, 1994
The Top 15 Reasons “Star Trek – The
Next Generation” Was Cancelled
Next Generation” Was Cancelled
- Time slot needed for “A Team – The Next Generation.”
- When Worf gets more chicks than the Captain, it’s time to hang it up.
- Data captured by Jabba the Hut, sold to Darth Vader for “recreational purposes.”
- Too many cameramen blinded while focusing on Picard’s head.
- Picard’s affection for tequila starting to get ugly.
- Enterprise crew members afraid of falling off the edge of the universe and being eaten by dragons.
- Network execs must have been out of their Vulcan minds.
- Never one to back down on a dare, Data chases a shot of matter with a shot of anti-matter and KABLOOIE! No more universe!!
- United Federation of Planets disbands after election of new General Secretary, Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Ghali.
- Data failed to get much-needed MultiMedia upgrade.
- Lack of cure for male-pattern baldness by the 23rd century was just too damn depressing.
- No actors willing to play new second commander, “Number Two.”
- Uninsured Wesley totaled Enterprise on Spring Break joyride to Starbase 24.
- William Shatner rakes set with AK-47 screaming, “Energize THIS, you bastards!”
And the Number 1 Reason “Star Trek – The Next Generation” Was Cancelled…
- Had to make way for spin-off, “Geordi Loves Chachi.”
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CREDITS
Today’s list authors were:
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL – 1
- Joseph Funk, San Francisco, CA – 2, 7, 8
- Greg Sherwin, Palo Alto, CA – 3
- Rick Canales, Austin, TX – 4
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD – 5
- Lemon Rinaldi, San Francisco, CA – 6
- Steve Maybo, San Diego, CA – 9, 15
- Bill Burnett, Lexington, MA – 10
- Chris White, San Diego, CA – 10, 15
- Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL – 11
- David Pilkington, Lake Forest, IL – 12, Topic
- Elliott Schiff, Pittsburgh, PA – 12
- Ken Wilson, Kansas City, MO – 13
- Ward Bahner, Kansas City, MO – 14
- Gary Ross, San Jose, CA – 15
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