NSA Pickup Lines

The list for September 9, 2013
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
According to reports, NSA officers have admitted
spying on their own romantic partners and spouses.
The Top 16 NSA Pickup Lines

  1. "Wow, you look almost as stunning in real life as you do in green night-vision glow!"

  2. "I can read those beautiful lips from a thousand yards —- with help from a laser-guided night scope and a parabolic dish antenna."

  3. "Well, technically it’ll be a ‘hundred-and-threesome,’ if you count all the people listening in remotely."

  4. "You come here often."

  5. "I’ve enjoyed meeting you, too! Text me, ok? But not while you’re driving, like you did last Thursday at 13:23 GMT."

  6. "I know EXACTLY what a nice girl like you is doing in a place like this, and I think I can help."

  7. "You’re the prettiest girl in this bar! Actually, at this moment, you’re the prettiest girl in a five-mile radius of this bar."

  8. "Shall we go back to my place? It’s the featureless van parked just outside your house."

  9. "Nice shoes you were wearing yesterday."

  10. "I just happen to have the perfect wine to pair with that leftover pizza you have in the fridge."

  11. "What’s a nice girl like you doing always turning off the lights before using your vibrator?"

  12. "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you automatically suspect that I’ve downloaded dozens of naked selfies from your iPhone? Just asking."

  13. "So, which hurt more: when you fell from Heaven or when you fractured your L5 in 7th grade?"

  14. "Are you happy to see me, or is that just the Beretta you bought from an unlicensed gun dealer in Houston last July?"

  15. "Your father was a thief, because he stole the stars from the sky to put the sparkle in your eye. Not to mention $300 in petty cash from his office."
And the Number 1 NSA Pickup Line…

  1. "You’re cute; you don’t look like you have a yeast infection at all!"
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CREDITS
Selected from 72 submissions from 25 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 1 (16th #1)
  • John English, Orem, UT — 2
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 3, 4
  • Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 5, 8
  • Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 5, 9
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 6
  • John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN — 7
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 10
  • Shaune R. Stark, Cedar Park, TX — 11
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 12
  • Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 13
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 14
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 15
  • Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 16
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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