GOOD Changes the Pandemic Has Brought About

The list for June 18, 2020

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For today’s list, let’s look
on the bright side of things…

The Top 17 GOOD Changes the
Pandemic Has Brought About

Morning drinking was frowned upon back when you had a job.
When you never take your pajamas off, your laundry costs plummet.
No more weapons-grade cheeck pinches from Aunt Olga.
Distinct linear growth in the number of Americans who understand exponential growth.
You’ve accumulated enough Amazon boxes to construct a second home.
No longer have to make the tough financial choice between buying a new AR-15 and taking the kids to see Ted Nugent.
Masturbation: Not Just For Nerds Anymore!
With Zoom and FaceTime, we don’t have to smell Grandma anymore.
Watching racists lose their job after posting garbage on Facebook has officially become a new kink.
Loosening of the Fitness Industry’s stranglehold on us all.
The mask makes it easier for your wife to pretend you’re Johnny Depp.
Spending 24/7 alone with family increases chances of an acquittal.
Melania can give the headache excuse a rest and claim she’s social distancing instead.
Your mother-in-law hasn’t been over since early March.
Colonoscopy postponed!
Since your pimp died from COVID, you get to keep all your earnings.

And the Number 1 GOOD Change the Pandemic Has Brought About…

We now know which friends and family members have at least a middle school understanding of science.

CREDITS

Selected from 74 submissions from 27 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

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