The list for July 8, 1994
The Top 15 Clever Methods For Committing Suicide
- Join Colombia’s World Cup team and score a goal for the other side.
- Paint head like soccer ball & bury self neck-deep at Soldier Field.
- Take co-starring role in Bruce Willis movie. (Oops! That’s a clever method for commiting *CAREER* suicide.)
- Open Heart Surgery — The Home Game.
- Moderate the Top 5 List. (Moderator’s note: Amen.)
- Down 3 extra large cherry Slurpees in just under 60 seconds.
- Chevy Chase Show marathon.
- Cruise the town in a convertible wearing a Salman Rushdie mask.
- You on bottom, Roseanne on top.
- Live in New York City – someone will eventually get around to you.
- Biker bar. Pink short-shorts. Need I say more?
- “Actually, Senator Kennedy, I’d rather *you* drive.”
- Sara Lee’s Kevorkian Cream Pie
- 20 Bags of Pop Rocks, 5 Gallons of Water
And the Number 1 Clever Method for Committing Suicide…
- Three words: Club Med Rwanda
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CREDITS
Selected from 94 submissions from 33 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Earl Beutler, Rancho Santa Fe, CA – 1
- Nancy Matus, Cardiff, CA – 1
- Paul E. Schindler, Orinda, CA – 2, 13 (Rookie!)
- Kim Moser, New York, NY – 3, 7, 15
- Jay Allen, Baton Rouge(?), LA – 4 (Rookie!)
- Jeff Johnson, Daly City, CA – 4, 15
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA – 5, 15
- David Pilkington, Lake Forest, IL – 6
- Don Horton, Sacramento, CA – 8
- Marshal Perlman, Palm Bay, FL – 9
- Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA – 10
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC – 11
- Chris Willis, Boston, MA – 12
- Brian Schroer, University City, MO – 14
- Michele Marie Beltran, Lansing, MI – 15
- Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI – 15
- Roger P. Ciotti, Kenosha, WI – 15
- Ken Shinodo, Keizer, OR – 15
- Jim Louderback, San Francisco, CA – 15
- David Oskardmay, Schaumburg, IL – 15
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