The list for August 26, 2013
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Actor/director Ben Affleck has been picked to
star as Batman in the sequel to “Man of Steel,”
which will feature both Superman and Batman.
star as Batman in the sequel to “Man of Steel,”
which will feature both Superman and Batman.
Um… Ben Affleck???
We can give you TWENTY better suggestions!
The Top 20 Better Choices to Play Batman
- Ozzy Osbourne: He’d devour a role like this.
- Ryan Reynolds: The Manscaped Crusader!
- Kim Kardashian: Plenty of experience sliding down poles.
- Rev. Fred Phelps: Stark absolutist, scowls a lot, obviously lives in a cave.
- Bobby Knight: Here’s your Dark Knight!
- Mark Cuban: Billionaire with ready access to ability-enhancing equipment who doesn’t give a wet damn about League policy.
- John Goodman: Who wouldn’t want to see HIM in a form-fitting rubber suit?
- Gilbert Gottfried: Has the gravelly voice thing going for him.
- Adam West: Who *doesn’t* want to see a Rascal 615 BatScooter?
- Geraldo Rivera: Somehow always knows where the spotlight is.
- Hillary Clinton: Has five years experience battling Two-Face at work and 37 years battling Two-Face at home.
- Jason Bateman: If it weren’t for that stray "e" in his name, he’d already be Batman.
- Matt Damon: Just to tweak Affleck. No other reason.
- Miley Cyrus: Already demonstrated that with Robin and a foam finger at her side, she can twerk an entire room full of crazies into a state of queasiness.
- Kanye West: His dad Adam did such a good job on the old TV series.
- Keith Richards: The quintessential creature of the night.
- Lyle or Eric Menendez: Like Bruce Wayne, they lost their parents at a young age.
- Tom Cruise: So Peter Dinklage could be Robin.
- Donald Trump: Elaborate comb-over? No, impact-resistant hair cowl!
And the Number 1 Better Choice to Play Batman…
- Michelle Bachmann: Half-batty, plus already has an ambiguously gay sidekick.
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CREDITS
Selected from 90 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH — 1, 2 (33rd #1)
- Joe Kilroy, Washington, DC — 2
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 2
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 3
- Bob Van Voris, New York, NY — 4, 18
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 5, 13
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 6, 8, 9 (Hat trick!)
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 7
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 10
- Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 11
- Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 12
- Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 14
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 14
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 15, 17
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 16
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 19
- Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 20
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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